Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Tucker Carlson - Dickipedia - A Wiki of Dicks

Tucker Carlson - Dickipedia - A Wiki of Dicks


Tucker Carlson

Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson (born May 16, 1969) is a multi-named television pundit, a former bow-tie wearer, and a dick. His insufferability was inflicted on America – or at least that tiny fraction of America that watches MSNBC – for three hours every weekday on the eponymous showTucker, which aired at 4pm, 6pm and 2am ET, until it was canceled on March 10, 2008.



Contents

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Journalism career

Carlson’s career as a journalist reached its brief peak in 1999 with his profile of Number One dick George W. Bush in the debut issue of dick Tina Brown’s Talk magazine. When Bush mentioned that he’d seen an interview in which dick Larry King asked the soon-to-be-executed Texas murderer Karla Faye Tucker what she would say to then-Governor Bush if she had the chance to meet with him, Carlson asked Bush what she answered. This provided a set-up for one of the greatest moments of dickishness in the history of mankind, duly reported by Carlson: “‘Please,’ Bush whimpers, his lips pursed in mock desperation, ‘don’t kill me.’” This is the only sentence ever written by Carlson that is worth reading.

“Journalism” career

Carlson’s career as a “journalist” began in 2000 with his co-hosting of CNN’s The Spin Room, on which he represented the right against liberal Bill Press. The show was quickly cancelled, and Carlson began alternating with dick Robert Novak as the conservative co-host of Crossfire, one of the major dickfests in the annals of broadcasting.

Despite his having appeared on hundreds of Crossfire programs, the only episode anyone remembers is the one from October 15, 2004, when Daily Show host Jon Stewart berated Carlson and his liberal co-host/co-dick Paul Begala for their “partisan hackery” and begged them to “stop hurting America.” Carlson told Stewart, “I do think you’re more fun on your show,” and Stewart told Carlson, “You’re as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.” Less than three months later, Carlson learned that CNN would not be renewing his contract and he signed with MSNBC.

Rape charge

Carlson wrote his autobiography, Politicians, Partisans and Parasites: My Adventures in Cable News, in 2003, at the ripe old age of 34. The book, which no one has ever seen a copy of, reportedly contains the revelation that Carlson was once accused of rape by a mentally disturbed woman he’d never met in Louisville, Kentucky, a city he’d never set dick in.

Neckwear

On April 11, 2006, Carlson announced his decision to cease wearing bow ties, a dweeby affectation (shared by fellow pundit and dick George Will) for which he was appropriately ridiculed over the years. “I just decided I wanted to give my neck a break,” he explained, oblivious to how many viewers also wanted to give his neck a break.

Terpsichorean exploits

In 2006, apparently believing that he wasn’t on TV enough, Carlson competed on the ABC reality series Dancing With the Stars. On September 13, 2006, his boldly exhibited preternatural inability to dance resulted in his being the first contestant to be voted off the show. Nonetheless, Carlson appears to take some perverse pride in the whole thing, as he continues to include this humiliating performance in his official MSNBC bio, where he remains a contributor/wiener.



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Sunday, December 26, 2010

Lambeau Leap Crotch Grab | Newsradio 620 - Milwaukee, Wisconsin News, Talk, Sports, Weather | Bill Michaels

Lambeau Leap Crotch Grab | Newsradio 620 - Milwaukee, Wisconsin News, Talk, Sports, Weather | Bill Michaels

Lambeau Leap Crotch Grab

By Bill Michaels

Donald Driver, on the Greenhouse Tuesday afternoon, stated that Ruvell Martin's crotch was groped when he took his Lambeau Leap this past Sunday. Driver stated, "That just ain't right". You can spill suds on a Packer's helmet but yanking it, now that's just wrong!

When you don't have the video tape to go to we, on the Greenhouse, do the next best thing. Photog, Allen Fredrickson was at Lambeau and caught the crotch assault as it happened. Allen, being a listener, was kind enough to send us the evidence.

Take a look below. Do you know this fanatic Packer Yanker?

Photo by Allen Fredrickson

Lambeau Leap Crotch Grab | Newsradio 620 - Milwaukee, Wisconsin News, Talk, Sports, Weather | Bill Michaels

Lambeau Leap Crotch Grab | Newsradio 620 - Milwaukee, Wisconsin News, Talk, Sports, Weather | Bill Michaels

Lambeau Leap Crotch Grab
By Bill Michaels
Story Created: May 13, 2009
Story Updated: May 14, 2009
Donald Driver, on the Greenhouse Tuesday afternoon, stated that Ruvell Martin's crotch was groped when he took his Lambeau Leap this past Sunday. Driver stated, "That just ain't right". You can spill suds on a Packer's helmet but yanking it, now that's just wrong!
When you don't have the video tape to go to we, on the Greenhouse, do the next best thing. Photog, Allen Fredrickson was at Lambeau and caught the crotch assault as it happened. Allen, being a listener, was kind enough to send us the evidence.
Take a look below. Do you know this fanatic Packer Yanker?

Photo by Allen Fredrickson

Saturday, December 25, 2010

When the Diagnosis Is 'Dead Butt Syndrome' - NYTimes.com

When the Diagnosis Is 'Dead Butt Syndrome' - NYTimes.com

December 21, 2010, 11:42 AM

When the Diagnosis Is ‘Dead Butt Syndrome’

Jen Miller at the finish of the Ocean Drive 10 Miler in Wildwood, N.J.

My butt, unfortunately, is dead.

“Dead butt syndrome,” the sports medicine doctor said to me after making me go through a series of circus-act contortions that involved swiveling my hip in all directions. His voice was very serious, his tone stern. I wondered if I should start making funeral arrangements for my rear, maybe a New Orleans-style blowout parade?

Hold the tuba. My butt’s not really dead. It can’t be revived with defibrillator paddles, but it can be fixed.

The technical name of the condition I have is gluteus medius tendinosis — an inflammation of the tendons in the gluteus medius, one of three large muscles that make up the butt. It’s a very isolated and painful injury that knocked me out of marathon training in January with stabbing pains in my hip. It’s a symptom related to what running experts hammer at: the need for cross-training and strength training. I was running so much that I told myself I didn’t have time for the exercise machines or weights, so I have no one to blame but myself.

I’ve been running for five years, but I’d never heard of the problem. I ran it by a friend, a former track coach at the University of Pennsylvania, and he was baffled too. I haven’t seen any coverage, though the doctor said it’s fairly common with runners who train for half marathons and beyond. It took him five minutes to figure out the problem.

“A new thought in running medicine is that almost all lower extremity injuries, whether they involve your calf, your plantar fascia or your iliotibial band, are linked to the gluteus medius,” said Dr. Darrin Bright, a sports medicine physician with Riverside Methodist Hospital in Columbus, Ohio, and medical director of that city’s marathon. “In the last five to 10 years, we’ve just realized how much of an important role the gluteus medius plays in stabilizing the hips and the pelvis in running.”

If you think of the pelvis as a cup, the muscles that attach to it, including the three gluteal muscles and the lower abdominals, interact in an intricate choreography to keep the cup upright when you run or walk. If these muscles are strong, the cup stays in place with no pain. If one or more of those muscles is weak, the smaller muscles around the hip take on pressure they weren’t designed to bear.

The cup still stays up, but at a price. First come muscle tears and inflammation, followed by scar tissue in the muscle. If left untreated, this process becomes a cycle that keeps feeding into itself.

“For people who have persistent pain, it’s healing gone wrong,” Dr. Bright said. “That gluteus medius isn’t firing the way it’s supposed to. You’re getting an inhibition of the muscle fibers. It’s kind of dead.”

Some of us run through the pain, which is what I did. And many compensate by adjusting their strides in a way that impedes the gait and can lead to problems in the quads, hamstrings, Achilles tendons, heels, knees, calves, ankles, feet or toes.

“Whether they’re recreational weekend runners up to the elite marathoners, the majority of runners I see have weak gluteus medius and gluteus maximus muscles,” said Dr. David Webner, a sports medicine doctor at Crozer-Keystone Health System in Springfield, Pa.

For about 70 percent of his patients, physical therapy that stretches the muscles in the hip and leg and strengthens the gluteus muscles, along with a temporary reduction in the mileage and intensity of running, resolves the problem. Deep tissue massage, which sends more blood to the area to break up scar tissue, along with strength training may also help to break the cycle of inflammation and scarring.

More advanced approaches include ultrasound guided tenotomy, which uses ultrasound to identify the affected muscles and then “poke little holes in the area of the scar tissue,” Dr. Webner said, or platelet-rich plasma therapy, which involves injections of centrifuged blood products and is what Tiger Woods underwent after knee surgery last year.

Fortunately, I didn’t need to take it that far. I’m lucky — the pain has ebbed with physical therapy and changing one of my weekly runs to a cross-training workout.

“Those runners who do multiple types of exercising are less prone to have weakness than runners who do just running,” said Dr. Webner. “Triathletes who come into my office don’t have as much weakness as just solo runners.”

So I’m biking. I row. I sweat through elliptical workouts at the gym.

And I no longer have the feeling that a pin is stabbing my hip every time I drive. I can sit for more than a half hour without pain. And last month I ran the Amish Bird-in-Hand half marathon, and felt no more discomfort than you’d expect to endure running 13.1 miles through the hills of Pennsylvania Dutch country.

To keep my rear alive, I must be vigilant about continuing to strengthen my lower abdominal and gluteal muscles. Last week, I slacked off and the pain came creeping back.

Is it annoying to have to focus so much on these muscles to run? Absolutely. But if it’ll revive my butt, it’s worth every leg lift and crunch.

Jen A. Miller is the author of “The Jersey Shore: Atlantic City to Cape May.”

Friday, December 24, 2010

Santa Claus Will Take You To Hell Sung to the Tune of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

Santa Claus Will Take You To Hell Sung to the Tune of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

Santa Claus Will Take You To Hell Sung to the Tune of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

Did you know that God actually hates Christmas? In a scene that looks straight out of South Park we bring you this heartwarming Christmas song the entire family will enjoy!

(via Christiannightmares

Lyrics:

You'd better watch out,
Get ready to cry,
You'd better go hide,
I'm telling you why,
Cuz Santa Claus will take you to hell...

He is your favorite idol,
You worship at his feet,
But when you stand before your God,
He won't help you take the heat!

So get this fact straight,
You're feelin' God's hate,
Santa's to blame for the economy's fate!
Santa Claus will take you to hell

Don't leave your kids with this red fright,
Just like the priests he'll rape 'em at night!
Santa Claus will take you to hell

You tell the children he is real,
You know that's just a lie,
To justify your own vile sins,
Is the only reason why,
So get this fact straight,
You're feelin' God's hate,
Santa's to blame for the dead soldier's fate
Santa Claus will take you
OH!
Santa Claus, will take you to hell!

Send an email to the author of this post at richard@gawker.tv.

YouTube - Return To The Doghouse - The Doghouse Funny Commercials

I gotta go apple picking with misses tomorrow...

A Couple more hands... what's the worst that could happen?

You made it what 5 hours on the outside?

YouTube - Return To The Doghouse - The Doghouse Funny Commercials: ""

YouTube - Too Short

not funny just awesome

YouTube - Beware of the Doghouse- Hilarious!

Hey Dual Bag doesn't know why he's here! Hahhahah.

YouTube - Beware of the Doghouse- Hilarious!: ""

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Pet Petter Prank Pack Gift Box

Pet Petter Prank Pack Gift Box:

Pet Petter - NEW!

Email to a Friend

Never touch your pets again! Todd Lawson's Pet Petter is the perfect gift for the dog / cat / horse / sheep lover on your list. The pet petter is an automatic petting device that has 4 different speeds for all types of hair lengths, is rechargeable for hotel use & includes 6 de-flea pads! For more about the inventor, check out Todd on Facebook.


Choose any 3 Prank Packs for $20!

MATERIAL: Made in the USA of American cardboard and ink.
SIZE: 11.25 x 9 x 3.25 ( About the size of a giant phone book)


Availability: In stock.

$8.00

Prank Pack Pet Petter

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Monday, December 13, 2010

Bad Santa: Tech students attacked by hatchet wielding Santa  | ajc.com

Tech students escape injury in frat house hatchet attack  | ajc.com: "Tech students escape injury in frat house hatchet attack

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By Mike Morris
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Georgia Tech police are investigating a weekend incident at a fraternity house in which a student was attacked by a hatchet-wielding man.

More Atlanta/Fulton news »

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Man flees traffic stop, nabbed by police
Atlanta/South Fulton
North Fulton
No one was injured in the 4 a.m. Saturday incident outside the Sigma Alpha Epsilon house on campus, according to a crime alert posted on the Tech police website.

Two students heard a 'chopping noise' coming from the back yard of the fraternity house, and when they went outside to investigate, they found a man chopping at a tree with a hatchet.

'They confronted the male, who appeared to be intoxicated,' the crime alert stated. 'The male swung the hatchet at one of the students and missed. The students were not injured.'

The suspect was last seen running through a fire lane toward Fowler Street. He was described as white, 18 to 20 years old, 5 feet, 8 inches tall and wearing a dark jacket, blue jeans and a red Santa hat."

YouTube - Sobriety Test Ends in Police Fight

YouTube - Sobriety Test Ends in Police Fight: ""

YouTube - How to instantly fail a drunk driving test

YouTube - How to instantly fail a drunk driving test: ""

YouTube - DUI Fail

YouTube - DUI Fail: ""

A Brett Favre Musical Tribute: "See My Dong" Makes Deadspin.com

A Brett Favre Musical Tribute: "See My Dong" Makes Deadspin.com

A Brett Favre Musical Tribute: "See My Dong"

Words fail me. Here's a video that was just sent to our tips box: a little ditty called "See My Dong" to the tune of Lionel Richie's "All Night Long," which is just pure goddamn genius.

I mean, "Well my friends, the time has come. To don the Crocs and have some fun." Jesus Fappin' Christ. Thanks to the mysterious "BradyFan83" who put this thing together. And just in time for Music Week!

Previous:

'Brett Favre Sent Me Cock Shots': Not A Love Story [Deadspin]

Monday, November 8, 2010

Twinkie diet helps nutrition professor lose 27 pounds - CNN.com

Twinkie diet helps nutrition professor lose 27 pounds - CNN.com

(CNN) -- Twinkies. Nutty bars. Powdered donuts.
For 10 weeks, Mark Haub, a professor of human nutrition at Kansas State University, ate one of these sugary cakelets every three hours, instead of meals. To add variety in his steady stream of Hostess and Little Debbie snacks, Haub munched on Doritos chips, sugary cereals and Oreos, too.
His premise: That in weight loss, pure calorie counting is what matters most -- not the nutritional value of the food.
The premise held up: On his "convenience store diet," he shed 27 pounds in two months.
For a class project, Haub limited himself to less than 1,800 calories a day. A man of Haub's pre-dieting size usually consumes about 2,600 calories daily. So he followed a basic principle of weight loss: He consumed significantly fewer calories than he burned.
His body mass index went from 28.8, considered overweight, to 24.9, which is normal. He now weighs 174 pounds.
But you might expect other indicators of health would have suffered. Not so.
Haub's "bad" cholesterol, or LDL, dropped 20 percent and his "good" cholesterol, or HDL, increased by 20 percent. He reduced the level of triglycerides, which are a form of fat, by 39 percent.
"That's where the head scratching comes," Haub said. "What does that mean? Does that mean I'm healthier? Or does it mean how we define health from a biology standpoint, that we're missing something?"
Haub's sample day
Espresso, Double: 6 calories; 0 grams of fat

Hostess Twinkies Golden Sponge Cake: 150 calories; 5 grams of fat

Centrum Advanced Formula From A To Zinc: 0 calories; 0 grams of fat

Little Debbie Star Crunch: 150 calories; 6 grams of fat

Hostess Twinkies Golden Sponge Cake: 150 calories; 5 grams of fat

Diet Mountain Dew: 0 calories; 0 grams of fat

Doritos Cool Ranch: 75 calories; 4 grams of fat

Kellogg's Corn Pops: 220 calories; 0 grams of fat

whole milk: 150 calories; 8 grams of fat

baby carrots: 18 calories; 0 grams of fat

Duncan Hines Family Style Brownie Chewy Fudge: 270 calories; 14 grams of fat

Little Debbie Zebra Cake: 160 calories; 8 grams of fat

Muscle Milk Protein Shake: 240 calories; 9 grams of fat

Totals: 1,589 calories and 59 grams of fat
Despite his temporary success, Haub does not recommend replicating his snack-centric diet.
"I'm not geared to say this is a good thing to do," he said. "I'm stuck in the middle. I guess that's the frustrating part. I can't give a concrete answer. There's not enough information to do that."
Two-thirds of his total intake came from junk food. He also took a multivitamin pill and drank a protein shake daily. And he ate vegetables, typically a can of green beans or three to four celery stalks.
Families who live in food deserts have limited access to fresh fruits and vegetables, so they often rely on the kind of food Haub was eating.
"These foods are consumed by lots of people," he said. "It may be an issue of portion size and moderation rather than total removal. I just think it's unrealistic to expect people to totally drop these foods for vegetables and fruits. It may be healthy, but not realistic."
Haub's body fat dropped from 33.4 to 24.9 percent. This posed the question: What matters more for weight loss, the quantity or quality of calories?
His success is probably a result of caloric reduction, said Dawn Jackson Blatner, a dietitian based in Atlanta, Georgia.
"It's a great reminder for weight loss that calories count," she said. "Is that the bottom line to being healthy? That's another story."
Blatner, a spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association, said she's not surprised to hear Haub's health markers improved even when he loaded up on processed snack cakes.
Being overweight is the central problem that leads to complications like high blood pressure, diabetes and high cholesterol, she said.
How well are you managing your diabetes?
"When you lose weight, regardless of how you're doing it -- even if it's with packaged foods, generally you will see these markers improve when weight loss has improved," she said.
Before jumping on the Ding Dong bandwagon, Blatner warned of health concerns.
"There are things we can't measure," said Blatner, questioning how the lack of fruits and vegetables could affect long-term health. "How much does that affect the risk for cancer? We can't measure how diet changes affect our health."
I was eating healthier, but I wasn't healthy. I was eating too much.
--Professor Mark Haub
RELATED TOPICS
Healthy Eating
Hostess Twinkies
Kansas State University
Weight Loss
Diet and Nutrition
On August 25, Haub, 41, started his cake diet focusing on portion control.
"I'm eating to the point of need and pushing the plate or wrapper away," he said.
He intended the trial to last a month as a teaching tool for his class. As he lost weight, Haub continued the diet until he reached a normal body mass index.
Before his Twinkie diet, he tried to eat a healthy diet that included whole grains, dietary fiber, berries and bananas, vegetables and occasional treats like pizza.
"There seems to be a disconnect between eating healthy and being healthy," Haub said. "It may not be the same. I was eating healthier, but I wasn't healthy. I was eating too much."
He maintained the same level of moderate physical activity as before going on the diet. (Haub does not have any ties to the snack cake companies.)
To avoid setting a bad example for his kids, Haub ate vegetables in front of his family. Away from the dinner table, he usually unwrapped his meals.
Study: U.S. obesity rate will hit 42 percent
Haub monitored his body composition, blood pressure, cholesterol and glucose, and updated his progress on his Facebook page, Professor Haub's diet experiment.
To curb calories, he avoided meat, whole grains and fruits. Once he started adding meat into the diet four weeks ago, his cholesterol level increased.
Haub plans to add about 300 calories to his daily intake now that he's done with the diet. But he's not ditching snack cakes altogether. Despite his weight loss, Haub feels ambivalence.
"I wish I could say the outcomes are unhealthy. I wish I could say it's healthy. I'm not confident enough in doing that. That frustrates a lot of people. One side says it's irresponsible. It is unhealthy, but the data doesn't say that."

Learning Guitar to Get Laid - CollegeHumor video

Learning Guitar to Get Laid - CollegeHumor video

People Are Awesome - CollegeHumor video

People Are Awesome - CollegeHumor video: ""

Best Fails of Sept 2010 Compilation - CollegeHumor video

Best Fails of Sept 2010 Compilation - CollegeHumor video: ""

college humor does what it does best. fail.